9 Funny Father’s Day Cards for Dads Who Love Booze

Dads: they are pretty primo. They put up with all our crap, give us sound advice, tell jokes so bad that they’re almost good, and they are one hell of a drinking bud. For some reason my dad radiates such a positive energy when we drink together. Mom normally ends up rolling her eyes, but after a couple with the pops, those dad jokes become funnier and funnier (which of course only ends up fueling his “comedic genius”) and I have a total blast. It’s safe to say that tossing back a cold one with the man who made you into the person you are today is one heck of a time. With Father’s Day coming up quick, I took it upon myself to seek out funny Father’s Day cards suitable for boozin’ dads. So give the man what he deserves –  a nice bottle of whiskey and a neat card. You owe it to him.

Funny Fathers Day Cards - Whiskey Gifts for Dad

© Hennel Paper Co

Is your dad a whiskey drinker? Nothing says I love you dad like a bourbon pun!

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Funny Fathers Day Cards - Like Father, Like Son

© Nocturnal Paper

Because we all dream of the day our heads morph into a delicious mug of frothy brewski.

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Funny Fathers Day Cards - Dad's Beer Gut

© Hella Fresh Designs

For the dad with a little spare tire, let him know that’s just more to love! Then grab him a tall one and talk about how fishing is enough exercise for the week.

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Funny Fathers Day Cards - Wine Gifts for Dad

© K.A. Rocks Paper

Funny Father's Day Card - Wine Gifts for Men

© K.A. Rocks Paper

Let’s face it, some dads love wine, but sometimes us kids love it more. Sorry, pops.

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Funny Cards for Dad - Beer Gifts for Men

© Mum and Me Designs

Because when is one ever enough!? Do something crazy with dad.

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Funny Card for Dads - Whiskey Gifts for Men

© No Coast Paper Co

For the refined father’s out there, let him know he isn’t any bottom shelf gasoline vodka. No, he’s that vodka we have to ask help getting down.

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Funny Fathers Day Cards

© Able and Game

And not that weird mole on your back.

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Funny Cards for Whiskey Lovers

© Hop Skip Jump Paper

I really like scotch. Me and scotch have had some totally forgetful times together. I love you, Scotch. But I love my dad so much more.

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Cards for Beer Lovers - Father's Day Greetings

© Classy Cards Creative

You no longer have to sneak me sips at the family BBQ! Being an adult is fun when it means getting to see your dad after a few.

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We love you, dads. Cheers.

Game of Thrones Season 5 – Ultimate Cocktails Guide

It’s that time of year again, when we get glued to our TVs for the Game of Thrones season 5 premiere. As such, we felt it was time to come up with some special cocktails that represent each of the great houses for you to enjoy when watching Game of Thrones Season 5. The perfect way to take the edge off while watching this intense series, drink these cocktails to show support for your favorite house, or drink them in spite of them. The choice is yours young squire, just don’t let the queen hear if you don’t like them, she has a nasty temper we hear! Whichever the case, we hope you find these game of thrones cocktails worthy of the Great Houses of Westeros. We want to hear from you, which house and/or cocktail is your favorite, and are there any others you would suggest?

Game of Thrones House LannisterHouse Lannister – A House We Know Well

No point in beating around the bush, let’s kick this off with the house that has been the center of it all up until this point, the Lannisters. We must confese Tyrion is probably our favorite character now that the Starks are all but extinct, however, his siblings are quite a nasty bunch. Tywin seems to still be the power behind the throne and Jamie will likely never be the same after his experiences in the last couple seasons. Will the new king fair better than the old? Who knows, but we do know one thing, the Lannisters sure love their money.

 

 

LANNISTER: GOLD RUSH COCKTAIL

Gold like the Lannisters’ hair and even more important, gold like the money they cherish so much,this cocktail reeks of gold just like the Lansister’s. Made with an exotic and high end liquor, Domaine De Canton, this cocktail is well suited for the Lannisters, so well suited, that we think even Tywin would even be proud of it.

© barnonedrinks

© barnonedrinks

Ingredients

  • 1.5 DOMAINE DE CANTON
  • 1 BOURBON
  • .5 FRESH LEMON JUICE

Preparation

  • Build all ingredients into a mixing glass.
  • Shake vigorously and strain into a martini glass. Optional lemon or cherry garnish.

 

Game of Thrones House TyrellHouse Tyrell – A House On the Rise

Don’t let their pleasant demeanor deceive you, these Tyrells are definitely ladder climbers. Jumping directly from Renly Barathreon’s bed quite literrally into the Lannister’s bedroom Margaery Tyrell, Olenna Tyrell, and all the Tyrells for that manner, seem to always land on their feet. Evidenced by Margaery being promised to the new king Tommen Lannister after Joffrey’s death. Two kings in a row and then a third. These Tyrells seem to be awfully lucky, cunning…or both.

 

 

TYRELL: CUNNING LITTLE VIXEN COCKTAIL

The perfect cocktail, aptly named for such a cunning little vixen like Margaery Tyrell don’t you think?

Photo Credit: Bonnie Burke

Photo Credit: Bonnie Burke

Ingredients

  • 2 oz Atsby Armadillo Cake Vermouth
  • 3/4 oz Hudson Baby Bourbon
  • 2 tbsp of fresh blackberry puree
  • New York City Sparkling Water

Preparation

 

GoT House GreyjoyHouse Greyjoy – A Sober Bunch

The Ironborn motto “What is dead may never die, but rises again harder and stronger” now that’s a phrase…of some slightly crazy people. Lord Greyjoy and the Ironborn in Game of Thrones are sure a sober bunch, even their women are tough as nails. As such, only a dark and stormy cocktail for these sea faring people will will do.

 

 

 

 

GREYJOY: DARK & STORMY COCKTAIL

The Dark and Stormy, simple yet tasty, and perfectly masculine. Combine it with some homemade ginger beer for a real manly cocktail worthy of the Ironborn.

Photo: shutterbean

Photo: shutterbean

Dark and Stormy

  • 2 oz dark rum
  • 3 oz Ginger Beer
  • Lime wedge
  • Fill a collins glass with ice. Add rum and top with ginger beer. Garnish with a lime wedge and serve.

Homemade Ginger Beer (by Marcus Samuelsson)

  • Juice of 4 limes
  • 4 cups water
  • 1 cup orange juice
  • Two 3-inch pieces ginger, peeled and coarsely grated
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 4 cloves
  • 4 cardamom pods
  • Lime juice, orange juice, water, ginger, sugar, cloves, and cardamom combined in a large saucepan and brought to a boil. Pour into a bowl, and let cool.
  • Cover ginger beer and set in the fridge for at least 2 hours or up to 1 day. Strain before serving.

 

Game of Thrones House BoltonHouse Bolton – Watch Your Back

A treacherous backstabbing bunch these sickos usurped the lands of the ill-fated Starks after the red wedding. Infamous for flaying enemies alive and torturing people, Lord Roose Bolton even rewarded Ramsay with a certificate of legitimization for his work on poor misguided Theon Greyjoy. Let’s hope these murders get what’s coming to them in Game of Thrones Season 5 or 6.

 

 

 

 

BOLTON: BLOODY BEER

Simple yet complex, and bloody as hell, just like House Bolton, need we say more?

bonappetit

Credit: bonappetit

Ingredients

  • Serves: 8
  • 1/4th cup kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
  • 8 lime wedges
    2 cups tomato juice
  • 8 tablespoons fresh lime juice
  • Hot sauce (such as Cholula)
  • Worcestershire sauce
  • 8 12-oz. cans light lager

Preparation

  • Mix salt and red pepper flakes on a small plate. Rub rims of 8 pint glasses with a lime wedge; dip in chile salt and fill with ice. Add ¼ cup tomato juice, 1 Tbsp. lime juice, a dash each of hot sauce and Worcestershire sauce, and 12 oz. lager to each glass; garnish with lime wedges and Spicy Pickled Green Beans And Fennel, if desired. recipe credit bonappetit

 

Game of Thrones TargaryenHouse Targaryen – Watchout Westeros

The house of the Dragon, banished from the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros for over a decade seems to be on the move. After a rough start in season one of Game of Thrones, Daenerys Targaryen has established herself as quite a power to be reckoned with in Essos across the narrow seas from the seven kingdoms. It’s only a matter of time before she comes home with her dragons for vengeance.

 

 

TARGARYEN: MOTHER OF ALL DRAGONS COCKTAIL

Named for Daenerys the mother of all dragons, this spiced cocktail topped with a blood orange speaks of the path of destruction that is sure to follow here once Daenerys Targaryen decides to cross the narrow sea and take back the Iron Throne.

photo credit equallywed

Photo credit: equallywed

Ingredients

  • 4 oz cranberry juice
  • 2 oz berry vodka, such as Ciroc Berry Vodka
  • 1 oz simple syrup
  • Juice of 1/2 lime
  • Ice
  • Finely ground black pepper
  • Blood Orange Garnish

Preparation

  • Pour the cranberry juice, vodka, simple syrup and lime juice into a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake or stir and strain into a martini glass. Float a pinch of black pepper on top of cocktail and garnish with a lime slice. recipe credit sandra lee foodnetwork

Game of Thrones House FreyHouse Frey – Better Not Insult His Daughters

Wow the Frey’s don’t take lightly to engagements being broken off as evidenced by the Red Wedding in season 3, that’s for sure. A relatively new great family, the Freys headed by the weaselly old chap, Lord Walder Frey seems to have clawed tooth and nail into power. They hold the strategic Twins crossing over the Green Fork river.

 

 

 

FREY: FOUR HORSEMEN SHOT

Stuck guarding the river day and night must be a lonely job and extremely boring. Not to mention all the Frey women seem to have all been whacked with the ugly stick. For this type of company you need something stronger than a mixed drink. You need a high-alcohol content, heavy duty shot to take your mind off of things, like that red wedding and Lord Frey’s weasel laugh.

Four Horseman Shot

Credit: weirdworm

Ingredients

  • 3/4 oz. Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila
  • 3/4 oz. Jagermeister
  • 3/4 oz. Rumple Minze
  • 3/4 oz. Bacardi 151 Rum

 

Game of Thrones House MartellHouse Martell – A Bone to Pick

Now if anyone has a bone to pick with the Lannisters besides the Starks it’s Gouse Martell. Not only did Tywin Lannister’s mad dog he The Mountain – Ser Gregor kill the princess and her child when Robert Baratheon seized power from the mad king Aerys II Targaryen many years ago, Ser Gregor also killed Prince Oberyn Martell in Season 4. If killing the prince, the princess, and her baby doesn’t piss you off, what will? I think we’ll see a lot more of house Martell in Game of Thrones Season 5.

 

 

 

 MARTELL: CUCUMBER COOLER COCKTAIL

When you come from a vast, hot, desert like house Martell’s does, you definitely need something refreshing to cool off. While this cocktail won’t save you from the likes of Ser Gregor as Oberyn Martell found out in season 4, this cool cucumber cocktail is just the thing for a hot track across the desert.

© minimalistbaker

Credit: minimalistbaker

Ingredients

  • 1.5 oz gin (or 3 Tbsp)
  • 4-6 cucumber slices
  • 1/4 lime, sliced
  • 4 oz tonic water
  • 6 mint leaves
  • 1 Tbsp sugar (optional)

Preparation

  • Add mint, lime, gin, sugar (if using) to shaker and muddle
  • Add cucumber slices to shaker and shake vigorously.
  • Pour mixture in glass filled with ice and top with tonic water, enjoy. recipe credit minimalistbaker


Game of Thrones House BaratheonHouse Baratheon – Stannis Will Be Back

After years of ruling the seven kingdoms, House Baratheon had a sharp downturn in their fortunes with Robert’s death. First Stannis killed his younger brother Renly then he suffered great defeat in the seas while trying to storm kings landing attempting to regain the throne. His fire women seems to be leaving him as well. Beaten down and defeated, house Baratheon didn’t take spend licking it’s wounds before raising a new army at the end of GoT season 4 . We have a feeling we’ll see a lot more of Stannis Baratheon in Season 5

 

 

BARATHEON: BLACKBERRY COLLINS COCKTAIL

The perfect mixed drink after a long day of hunting if you are Robert, or in Stannis’s case, a long day of black magic and destruction of your fleet in the Blackwater of Kings Landing.

Black Collins Cocktail

© blavod

Ingredients

  • 2oz Blavod Original Black Vodka (or similar black vodka)
  • 1oz lemon juice
  • 1oz gomme (or simple) syrup
  • fill with soda water
  • fresh blackberries

Preparation

 

Game of Thrones House ArrynHouse Arryn – Off Their Rockers

The Rulers of the Vale of Arryn are sure a crazy bunch aren’t they? How about that kid who’s still nursing at 10+….or the moon door that Lysa went flying through…or the crazy plot with LittleFinger. Crazy…for sure. For them we present the drink of choice for those that are so lucid they think they can fly

 

 

 

 

 ARRYN: FLYING DUTCHMAN COCKTAIL

Served in a goblet worth of poisoning a king…Jeffery…or John Lord Jon Arryn…or just the slightly crazy Rulers of the sky castle Eyrie. This flightful cocktail is surely worthy of the Vail!

flying dutchman cocktail

Credit: liquor.com

Ingredients  

  • 1.5 oz  Bols Genever
  • .75 oz  Bénédictine
  • .75 oz  Yellow Chartreuse
  •  .75 oz  Lemon juice

Preparation

  • Add all the Bols Genever, Benedictine, Yellow Chartreuse, and Lemon Juice to a cocktail shaker and fill with ice.
  • Shake hard and strain into a chilled large cocktail glass. recipe credit liquor.com

Game of Thrones House StarkHouse Stark – Beyond the Wall 

Well the Stark house has really had it rough over the past few seasons. First Ned was beheaded, then the red wedding and then Greyjoy destroyed their castle. Just when you think nothing else can go wrong they seem to always end up in a bad spot. Poor souls we howl when we think of how hard they’ve had it. John Snow is still kicking plus a few of the Starks, hopefully things will get better for the last remaining Starks in Game of Thrones Season 5.

 

 

 

STARK: HOWLING (DIRE) WOLF COCKTAIL

What can we say, the blue reflects the cold, the white reflects that “Winter is Coming” and the red berries remind us of…well the Red Wedding. (oh come on, you knew we had to include that!)

Howling Moon Cocktail

Ingredients

  • 1/2 oz. Creme de Menthe, white
  • 1 oz. Curacao, blue
  • 1/2 oz. Vodka
  • Fill with Sprite
  • Garnish with Red Raspberries

 

We hope you’ve enjoyed this special Game of Thrones Season 5 drinking guide from our cocktail team at Home Wet Bar. Which house and drink is your favorite? We want to hear what you think in the comments below!

Special thanks and copyright to hdwallcloud for the banner and unrealitymag.com for the GoT house symbols.

My Funny Valentine: Best of the web

Whether you love or loathe (or couldn’t give two hoots about) Valentine’s Day, there’s one thing we can all agree on – funny Valentine’s stuff on the internet is the best thing about February 14. There is nowhere better for a Valentine’s laugh than online, and we’ve found some of the best.

Valentine’s 2014 seem to be all about the puns, with no pop culture reference left untouched. Likewise, we’re enjoying looking at some of the hilarious comments made by kids, adults and companies alike! Let’s have a look at some of our favorites…

#Budvice

Budweiser is currently tweeting out #Budvice with some hilarious results! The above is one of our favorites being just on the right side of tongue-in-cheek.

Pantone 18-3418 TCX


This technical tweet is witty enough to tickle anyone’s funny bone but niche enough to be a nod to the designers out there who know their stuff (psst… they’re technical names for color shades!).

The youth of today

Something we’ve all surely considered, the baby cherub is a strange icon for the modern world. When once it was romantic, today it’s nothing short of terrifying…

Banish predictable gifts!

We’ve all been there in some form or another: you’ve just started dating someone and feel awkward not getting anything – but you still don’t really know them well enough for a real gift. Take a risk guys: buy something you know she’ll love.

Kids say it best

kids

Kids really do say the funniest things! School projects probably result in some of the most memorable pieces from your childhood and more likely because you made something inadvertently hilarious rather than being a child prodigy with a glue stick.

Breaking hearts
breaking

We couldn’t get enough of Breaking Bad here at Home Wet Bar and there’s been a hole in our lives ever since the final. Thankfully, you can show your beloved how much you care along with enjoying some Breaking Bad humor at the same time this holiday!

You’re a-peel-ing

bananas
Fruit art has become something of a trend recently and it’s great to see people’s artistic sides coming out on a, erm, banana. Quirky and pun-tastic, it’s everything you could possibly want in a Valentine’s message.

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