How to have an awesome boys’ night.

Guys like to drink

You’re in a rut. Things are great at work because you won the March Madness bracket, but there’s still a ton of meetings. In the evenings, you go to dinner, and the wife even lets you pick where you want to go time to time, but you end up at the same old places. You head home for TV time, and maybe a video game, if the kids get to bed early. You love your wife, but you’re tired of doing the same old thing over and over, every single week. It’s time for Boys’ Night. Just you and the fellas, hanging out like old times, but maybe getting into slightly less trouble than in the college days. It’s been along time though, and you’re nervous. You need an epic night, and don’t want to futz it up. Well, we know how to throw a great party, and we’re here to help. From the beer tasting to the best zombie video games, we’ve got guys’ night out ideas that will pull you out of that rut and get you cruising again in no time.

Let the girls down easy.

By Dan Zen (Flickr: Ava Surprised) [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
She’ll be shocked at first, and ask if you’re mad. Tell her of course not, and that you love her. She’ll say she can come along and hang just like one of the guys. She’s probably right, so blame it on the other guys, and say you made a pact that this one night was just the guys. Tell her that you’ll take her to dinner the night before and the night after, and encourage her to meet up with the other wives and girlfriends for a girls’ night. After all, she’s in the same rut that you are. It will be good for you both.

Pick the night.

Picking the right night is one of the most important steps. You’ve got to make sure that all the guys can be there. No one is allowed to miss out. Period. Most weeknights are bad due to soccer practice, working late, or other elements of the weekly grind that make a boys’ night so important. Fridays are no good because everyone always has plans on Fridays. Although you’ve got to pick what works best for your own crew, we highly suggest Thursday or Saturday. Saturday is great because it’s the weekend, and you can spend all day getting family stuff done, and feel good about treating yourself that night. Thursday night is great for a number of reasons. First, the work week is almost done, so it’s Friday Jr. Next, a lot of college kids party on Thursday, so if you end up going out, the bars will most likely be jumping. Also, if you are still a little drunk on Friday, you can enjoy bragging to all your co-workers about what an awesome time you had the night before. Finally, if you’re too hungover to work on Friday, just call in sick. Three day weekend!

Start with beer.

Beer is Art Personalized Beer Flight Set
Tonight’s the night. You’ve got the girls out of the house and the guys are starting to roll in. Everyone has been texting you all day about how excited they are. What’s the best way to get started? Beer. There’s a lot of ways to execute this step, but the important part is that it involves great tasting cold beer. Beer tastings are always great because no one is allowed to stop until they’ve tried everything. Go to the liquor store earlier in the week, and get recommendations from the stockers, not the owner. The guys who stock the shelves have tried all of them, and will be more honest. Go for at least six different brews, and get extras, because you’ll want more of the ones you like the most. Give the leftovers to your coworkers as you tell them about the others beers that were better. It’s also good to fire up the grill. You are going to need sustenance to make it through the night, and the smoke from the grill will make you and your buddies smell like you’ve been somewhere cool. You can’t show up for buffalo wings at midnight smelling like Paco Rabanne. It’s also a good idea to pack for tailgating at this point. Throw some pre-cooked burgers and dogs into a freezer bag, and load some reserve beer into an ice chest. You don’t know where this night is going, and you have to be prepared.

Go with the flow, but have a backup plan. Or several.

Sneaky Shorts Hidden Flask
From here, you’ve got to let the night roll. Don’t ask for suggestions, necessarily, but if a buddy says, “You know what sounds fun right now?” listen to what he has to say. If the whole group agrees, go for it. In the event that none of your buds are creative enough to have an original idea, it’s good to have a few ideas in your back pocket. Video games are a great start. Raid you kid’s room and drag out his best zombie video games for a head-to-head battle of the undead. We’re big fans of the classic Zombies ate my Neighbors. It’s hard to find, but there are plenty of others out there. Have a live fantasy sports draft, right in your living room. Create your own league and argue over teams. Drink when you get a player you want. Drink when you don’t. Better yet, if a local team has a game that night, go tailgating. (Aren’t you glad you prepared?) Put a designated driver behind the wheel and head to the stadium parking lot. Crank up the radio, drag out your tailgating supplies, and listen to the game while you enjoy leftover brats. Life doesn’t get any better than this.

Don’t contact the girls.

By OSU Special Collections & Archives : Commons [see page for license], via Wikimedia Commons
It’s late. By now, you’ve probably ended up at that dive bar you always laugh about as you drive by coming home from work. You’re also getting text messages from the girls at this point. “Where are you?” “Are you okay? I’m worried.” “I’m bored. I want to have fun, too.” Don’t give in. It’s boys’ night! Actually, it’s okay to give in at this point. You’re missing her a little bit too. But we have one strong suggestion:  all or nothing. If one wife gets to join, the other have to come too. If they don’t, your buddies will see your wife, and start missing their wives, and want to leave early, and that ruins the night. So get them all out. It will add new life to an already great night. As a bonus, it increases your chances of getting to do this again. You’re also drunk at this point, and definitely need a ride home.

Types of Beer Glasses 101

Beer is one of the oldest beverages developed by civilizations, so we can only imagine the types of drinking vessels that were first created for beer. Traditionally beer glasses, were made with a specific purpose. For example, the German beer stein was developed with a lid to keep flies out of it during the Black Plague. Another example is the pint glass, which was produced to prevent breakage when storing beer glassware by stacking them.

It also has been said that the reason there are so many types of beer glasses available in this time is due to typical marketing schemes by beer breweries. This could be a true statement, there are just about as many beer glasses as there are types of beer. But would the beer breweries go that far for a marketing scheme if there wasn’t a benefit to this? Of course not! Like wine, beer glasses each have many attributes in which improve the flavors in different types of beer. Beer contains volatiles which are compounds that evaporate from it to create a beer’s aroma. Choosing the right glass for the type of beer you’re drinking can enhance these volatiles when pouring your brew. With so many choices, choosing a glass for your beer can be overwhelming. That is why we put together a short guide to the various types of glasses along with beer recommendations below.

Common Types of Beer Glasses

American Pint Glasses

Pint GlassThe American pint glass is just about the most common type of beer glass. These are the best beer glasses for use at local restaurants and most homes because they are easier to store by stacking them. They are constructed in a cone shape that tapers slightly toward the bottom of the glass and usually holds 16 ounces.

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Good all around glass, goes well with American Lagers, American Pale Ales, and most other beers


English Pint Glasses

englishpintThe British pint glass (also called a Nonic Glass) is similar to the American pint glass, but the difference is a slight bump along the top of the glass and it holds 20 ounces. The bump also adds the benefit of grip so your beer glassware won’t get stuck when stacking them. Another benefit this small bulge adds is head retention when pouring your beer which adds to the great aroma of your beer. Traditionally darker beers are served in these types of beer glasses.

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Mid-Dark beers, American Stout, English Porters, English Stout, English Ales, and other dark beers


Beer Mugs

Personalized Beer MugBeer mugs are a popular type of glass which feature a sturdy handle and are usually heavier than other beer glassware. The handles on these types of beer glasses are said to have been developed so the drinker would have more confidence when “clinking” glasses. These can be made of a variety of materials including pewter, ceramic, glass, or stainless steel to name a few. Well-known beer glass styles of the beer mug include the German beer stein, tankards, and dimpled mugs. The stein is a German beer mug that is usually made of pewter and, many times has a pewter lid attached to it. Legend has it steins were developed in during the black plague to keep the fleas that carried the black plague out of your beer. Yuk! Thankfully we no longer have to deal with disease carrying fleas but they are still a great way to keep flies and other bugs out of your favorite brew.

Beer tankards, similar to the stein, have a flared round bottom, hold more than the usual serving size of beer, and some tankards even have a glass bottom. A funny story behind the glass bottom tankard is that most bar fights started when someone was blindsided while drinking from their tankard; the glass bottom provides a clear view so they could always see what was coming! Meanwhile, dimpled mugs are a charming beer mug style that was once a standard beer glass at pubs in Britain.

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Most American Ales and Lagers, English beers, Bock beers, good multi-purpose glass


Wheat Beer Glasses, Weizenbier glass, or Weissbier Glass

wheat beerThese types of beer glasses are many times mistaken with the real Pilsner glasses below in American. The term seems to be used interchangeably at times. In reality they are called Wheat Beer Glasses. They are used to serve wheat beers, traditionally called a Weizenbiers or Bravarian Weizens. This German style glass has thin elegant walls and is typically quite tall allowing the glass to showcase the beer’s color. It is said the tapered glass shape originates from the desire to trap yeast at the bottom of the glass, which was very common in traditional beers until mass bottling and forced carbonation became popular in the early part of the century, and is still common today in micro-brews and home brews. These Weizenbier glasses typically hold around .5L but it’s also common to see them holding 20oz -24oz. The larger sizes allow for more of that appealing fluffy foam or “head” which traps aromas and is visually pleasing; typically associated with this type of beer

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Pale Wheat Beers, Dark Wheat Ales, Hefeweizens


Pilsner Glasses

Pilsner GlassesPilsner glasses are a more elegant type of beer glasses. These beer glasses are tall and have tapered walls that lead to a sturdy base. The pilsner glass was created to complement the lighter ales. The thin walls show off and maintain the sparkle in the golden hues of the ales they contain. The tall pilsner glass is also ideal for maintaining the perfect beer head which enhances the volatiles in beer, therefore creating a better enjoyment in the taste of pale ales. Sometimes this beer glass style can be mistaken for a Weizen glass, but the pilsner is tapered evenly from top to bottom and has no curves in its design at all.

  • Use with These Beer Styles:  Best for light colored beers, American Pale Lager, Czech Pilsener, Light Lagers, and Low % Alcohol Beer


Beer Boots

beer bootBeer boots have been around for over a hundred years, but have regained popularity thanks to movies like Beer Fest in recent years. Born from a Bavarian tradition over 100 years ago where soldiers filled their boots with traditional ale to toast and salute their military victories. Shortly there after the glass version was made, and the rest as they say, is history! Range anywhere from 0.5L to 2.0L. TIP: Twist the boot when you near the end unless you want a beer bath!

  • Use with These Beer Styles:  Novelty glass! Use for any beer you want, but we recommend low % alcohol beer because you’ll likely be drinking a lot of it!


So What Beer Glassware Should I Use?

Our suggestions under each type of glass above should be a good starting point for the average beer drinker. However the type of beer glassware you choose for your ale is ultimately up to you. Each is made for a different type of beer and all the different types of beer glasses all have their pros and con dependent on the type of beer you are drinking. No matter if your choice of ale is bitter, cream ale, or stout there is a beer glass that was specifically created to accent the aromas and taste of your beer just right! So experiment with different beer glasses and see which one works best for you!

Top 5 Best Drinking Games of All-Time

Spring is finally here, and if you’re in college, that means the end of the semester is just around the corner. With the end of the semester comes every college student’s favorite event – finals week. Just kidding! We all know the end-of-semester party is what keeps most students going in that limbo time between Spring Break and finals, and that bash is sure to include drinking games. But which game is the best? Our crack team of experts at recently sat down and graded the top 5 best drinking games of all time.  Our grading is based on overall fun for players and onlookers, as well as the “buzz factor” for the game.


5. Never Have I Ever

Never Have I Ever combines drinking with sometimes embarrassing admissions, which of course means that this drinking game makes the list! Players take turns making “Never have I ever…” statements, and players who have done those activities drink. Learning new and occasionally disgusting facts about your friends and fellow-party goers makes Never Have I Ever one of the top 5 best drinking games ever; however, the game does tend to slow down as players try to come up with “never have I ever…” statements, which can slow down the buzz factor.

Fun for Players: B-
Fun for Onlookers: B+
Buzz Factor: B-
Final Grade: B

4. Asshole

Asshole is one of the most complex card drinking games (for full instructions on Asshole and other drinking games, please visit the link at the end of this report card), so it can entertain and frustrate for hours. A 52 card deck of playing cards is dealt out to the players. In the initial round, the goal is to be the first player to discard all of their cards. The first player to get rid of all of their cards is the President in the next round, and the last player to get rid of all of their cards is the Asshole. The President assigns rules and has special privileges over other players, and the Asshole…well, let’s just say you don’t want that title. The complexity of this drinking game requires players pay relatively close attention, and the humor or cruelty of the acting President creates some hilarious moments for players and onlookers alike. And as there is always the goal of becoming the acting President in the next round, Asshole can last a long time, which gives it a strong buzz factor.

Fun for Players: B+ (F for whoever the current asshole is)
Fun for Onlookers: B-
Buzz Factor: A
Final Grade: B+

3. Quarters

Quarters has secured its place in drinking game history due to its simplicity and fast pace. Try to bounce a quarter into a shot glass and assign drinks. Miss your shot, and you take a drink. Quarters is surprisingly addicting, as getting just the right touch on bouncing the quarter into the shot glass takes some practice, and other party-goers are inevitably drawn to the sound of the quarter as it bounces and (hopefully) rattles into the shot glass.Oh, and it  will get you buzzed fairly quickly, as the act of bouncing a quarter into a shot glass does require some skill and luck.

Fun for Players: A-
Fun for Onlookers: B
Buzz Factor: A
Final Grade: A-

2. Circle of Death or Waterfalls or Ring of Fire

This drinking game goes by many names, but for simplicity, we will call it Circle of Death. Players sit in a circle and draw cards that are spread out in the middle of the circle of players thus the name, Circle of Death. Each card has a corresponding rule that the players must follow. For example, when a 9 of any suit is drawn, it is a “Nine, Nine, Bust-a-Rhyme,” where the player who drew the card says a word or phase, and players take turns around the circle rhyming with the selected word or phase. The rhyming continues until a player cannot continue the rhyme, at which point that player drinks. Circle of Death is fun as players are constantly making up and abiding by the various, hilarious rule and drinking. Outside observers will also get some laughs from the antics coming from the circle.

Fun for Players: A+
Fun for Onlookers: B
Buzz Factor: A
Final Grade: A-

1. Beer Pong

Portable Beer Pong Table

Portable Beer Pong Table

In Beer Pong, opposing teams (generally of two) stand at opposite ends of a beer pong table with nine cups set up in a triangle in front of them. Each team tries to bounce ping pong balls into the opposing teams cups filled with beer, forcing the opposing team to drink. Beer pong is fast-paced, strikes up the spirit of competition at almost any party, and a crowd of onlookers can almost always be found gathered around a beer pong table. For this reason, beer pong is considered by many to be the best drinking game of all-time, earning it our highest grade.

Fun for Players: A+
Fun for Onlookers: A
Buzz Factor: A
Final Grade: A

Further Study for the Best Drinking Games

As with any game, it is always best to study up on the rules, strategies, and intricacies of a drinking game before playing it. For rules and strategies on our best drinking games of all time, has a great series on playing drinking games. For a drinking game that has more complex rules, such as Asshole and Circle of Death, has a great set of more detailed instructions for these games.

The Ultimate Guide to Single Malt Scotch: What It Is, And Why You Should Stock Up Right Now

Smoky, peaty, smooth… no country in the world does whisky like Scotland. This fantastic brown liquor has caused more hangovers than our editorial department cares to admit, but it’s distinctive flavor keeps us coming back for more.

So what is single malt scotch? Why do aficionados turn their noses up at “blended” scotches?

And what, pray tell, is the difference between Scotch from the Highlands and the islands to the south?

In the words of Hank Williams, Jr., it’s time to get whisky bent and hell bound. So let’s break single malt scotch down:

Single means the whisky was distilled by a single distillery.

Malt refers to the grain that is used. Single malt scotch is always distilled with malted barley (unlike bourbon, which can be distilled with corn or rye).

Scotch is the easiest to discern; if it came from Scotland, it’s Scotch! Other countries make whisky and dubiously label it Scotch (much like American wineries label sparkling wines as Champagne) in order to capitalize on the name.

That’s not to say that all foreign scotch imitations are cheap knockoffs.

Not too long ago the Japanese beat Scotland in a blind tasting of single malt whisky. Surprisingly, no scenes of Braveheart were recreated upon the decision.

Single malt scotch, unlike its patrons, must reach a level of maturity before hitting the bars. The bare minimum is three years in oak casks, though most single malts are aged between twelve and twenty-five years.

And unlike wine, the aging process stops once Scotch is bottled.

In other words, a 12 year Macallan bottled in 1985 should be very similar to another 12 year Macallan bottled in 1989 (assuming no one’s finished the bottle).

Single Malt Scotch Ingredients

Barley, water and yeast are the only ingredients needed to make single malt Scotch, though additional flavor is added via the oak casks the Scotch is stored in.Scotch Whiskey Glass

Barley (malt) is a grain left to soak for 2-3 days in water, which allows it to germinate and create fermentable sugars.

Water is a crucial ingredient, and many distilleries choose their location based on the ready availability of pure clean spring water.

Yeast is the magician. If it weren’t for yeast we’d had nothing but sickly sweet, non-alcoholic syrup.

Yeasts are like the perfect guest: they eat everything put in front them and leave copious amounts of alcohol behind.

How Should I Drink Single Malt Scotch?

The jury is still out on this.

Purists believe a single malt is like a National Park: best left undisturbed. Others argue that a few drops of water help aerate the Scotch and releases its aroma.

Try this experiment: Pour a single malt into a snifter glass and inhale slowly through your mouth (the alcohol burns your nostrils and impedes your ability to smell).

Now, add three drops of water, swirl and smell again in the same fashion. You should notice a much fuller aroma, while the taste should remain the same.

What you should NOT do is add ice.

It ruins the body of the scotch, dilutes the flavor and will invite raised eyebrows from pub-mates.

Regions of Great Single Malt Scotch

Highland Single Malts are the most popular around the world. They have a balance most other regions cannot match: more flavor than lowland scotches, less fire than Islays. Most highland single malts are smooth, with notes of vanilla, honey and (sometimes) sherry.

Speyside is a sub-region of the Highlands and is where some of the smoothest, most full bodied single malts call home. Named after the Speyside river, the crystal clear water is the main reason so many distilleries can be found here. Some famous Speyside distilleries include Macallan, Glenfiddich and Glenmorangie.

Islay (pronounced Eye-Luh) Single Malts are renowned for their smoky aroma, which comes from the large amount of peat-moss grown in the area. The two most popular Islay distilleries are Laprhoaig and Lagavulin (my personal favorite).

Lowland Single Malts
are among the most mellow scotches, and a great way to introduce yourself to quality brown liquor. Start with Auchentoshan- a laid back single malt that has been distilled three times- before working your way up the food chain.

Campbeltown Single Malts are the up and coming region for quality single malts. Combining the smooth texture of the Highlands with a milder peatiness of the Islays, Campbeltowns are sure to please a wide variety of Scotch aficienados. Springbank is a personal favorite and you can find both the 10 and 15 year at BevMo and any bottle shops.

Great Single Malt Scotch Moments In Film

The Departed. An Ode to Drunken Anglos. When referring to a suicide mission, Leonardo DiCaprio offers the gem of a line: “Why don’t you just give me a bottle of Scotch and a handgun?”

Anchorman. A circa-1970’s newsman who sings “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…” when the camera stops rolling. It takes a special kind of man to drink on the job and sing about it. Kudos.

Photo Credit: rbrwr

Top 4 Beer Drinking Cities in America

Credit: Bernt Rostad
Credit: Bernt Rostad

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Benjamin Franklin


Creator of civilizations. Destroyer of Sundays.

This “liquid gold” brings men together like a campfire… except it tastes delicious, doesn’t leave you smelling like smoke, and – if done correctly – helps fuel the fires of a good time.

Which you may or may not remember.

Simply put: beer is amazing. And the following four American cities hold their beer making – and drinking – to a higher standard.

Read on:

Portland, Oregon

Portland is the Olympus of American beer cities. It has more microbreweries than any other state and produces some the nation’s highest quality beers.

It’s also home to The Simpsons creator Matt Groening – who created arguably the world’s greatest beer-drinking cartoon: Homer Simpson.

(Fun fact: Many Simpsons characters are named after streets in Portland.)

(Another fun fact: Matt Groening’s father is named Homer. So is Matt’s son.)

Now let’s return to our subject at hand:

Breweries In/Around Portland:

Rogue: It’s not just a cool name: these beers definitely break new ground. You may remember them by such beers as Hazlenut Brown Ale, Dead Guy Ale and Chipotle spiced lagers. The brewery itself is located in Newport (located on the coast), but the Rogue pub in Portland is well worth a visit.

Mcmenamins Kennedy School: Ever wanted to get drunk in class? Well now you can. At this former grade school-turned-bar, you can enjoy house-brewed ales in the cafeteria, sip bourbon in detention hall and even sleep the night away in a former classroom. There’s even bowling, movies and a live band each weekend!

Lompoc: Sigh. Some breweries have all the luck. Others – like Lompoc – seem to get thrown under the bus. This brewery does pale ales the way pale ales were meant to be done: deliciously.

Especially when served in a 32 ounce mason jar. Hmmm… your moonshine distilling great-uncle’d be proud.

Deschutes Brewery: Like Rogue, Deschutes is an out of town brewery (Bend, Oregon) with a pub in Portland.

And thank God for that.

The brewery in Bend is OK… but certainly not worth the drive. Fortunately, you can enjoy their delicious collection of lagers and ales (most notably the pale ale and stout) without leaving town.

Chico, California

I know what you’re thinking: Chico? Where the hell is Chico?

This happens a lot.

But this small college town – once lauded as the “number one party school in America” by Playboy magazine – is home to one of America’s best, if not the best brewery.

Sierra Nevada.

Sure, you may have had their pale ale. It’s delicious… but… that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There’s much, much more to this brewery.

Their Celebration Ale gives more meaning to Christmas than Frosty, Santa and all his little reindeer combined.

Their Crystal Wheat beer? A crispy, clean beer which goes PERFECT with a hot dog at a ballgame.

And their Bigfoot barleywine – a beast of a beer approaching ten percent alcohol – will hurt you. In a good way.

With a motley crew of beers like these, it’s no surprise Sierra Nevada became the second largest craft brewery in America (behind Sam Adams).

Where to drink in Chico:

Visiting Chico without drinking at the Sierra Nevada Brewery is like going to Saudi Arabia without visiting Mecca.

Except you can drink.

At the brewery you can enjoy beers never intended for mass procudtion, including an astonishing array of Irish reds, IPAs and German style beers.

Local bars  – such as Madison Bear Garden and Banshee – serve some of these beers… for as little as one dollar per pint.

That’s right: one dollar. Per pint.

And by the way: the best cheeseburger in the world is also in Chico. Try the bacon cheeseburger at Nobby’s (located on Main Street) to see for yourself. Words cannot describe how delicious this burger is, so I won’t try.

But your life will remain forever incomplete without it.

Fort Collins, Colorado

This small Colorado town boasts not one but two distinguished breweries and the annual Colorado Brewers’ Festival, a wild beer making (and drinking) spectactle held downtown each June.

Breweries In Fort Collins

New Belgium Brewing Company: Famous for Fat Tire – a crisp amber ale which got its name after its brewer Jeff Lebesch rode across Europe on a bicycle – New Belgium continues to churn out a wide selection of beers. The Sunshine Wheat and Abbey Grand Cru are both popular local varieties.

Odell Brewing Company: In my opinion, Odell is the best brewery in Fort Collins. They’ve created an astonishing array of beer, including double black IPAs and Bourbon Barrel Stout.

And last but not least:

Austin, Texas



You’d expect us to stick to the Pacific Northwest, right?


Truth is, Austin is a beer drinking paradise.

Not only is it the Live Music Capital of the World – with over 200 live music venues featuring blues, rock, house, country and more – Austin is surrounded by several high quality breweries (and one distillery, as you’ll soon see).

Breweries In/Around Austin

Shiner: This is Texas’ most popular beer. Brewed in the small town of Shiner (pop: 1,033) this brewery features a slightly sweet Bock beer in the traditional Czech style.

Real Ale Brewing Company: If you’re dying for a pale ale and can’t afford a ticket to the Pacific, Real Ale Brewery serves up a fine ale.

Garrison Brothers Distillery: Nothing complements beer better than a well-deserved taste of brown liquor. Fortunately, Garrison Brothers – the first legal bourbon distillery in Texas – has got you covered. It’s a small operation to say the least, and that – along with a damn fine bourbon – contributes to its charm.

The Ginger Man: This excellent brewpub features dozens of different beers on tap (and several unique bottled varieties) in Austin’s slightly upscale Warehouse District.

“Upscale” by Texas standards, anyways.

From there, you can (and should) venture down to West Sixth Street for a night of live music, cheap drinks and killer hot dogs sold by street vendors.


5 Greatest Drunks in History: A Cautionary Tale

Think you can handle your booze? Think again. The five drunkards listed below could out-drink, outperform and out-produce you any day of the week. Alcohol consumption is’t their hobby or social activity, it’s an everyday fix. So without further ado, here there are the top 5 greatest drunks of all time, from least to greatest:

#5. Frank Sinatra

Best line: “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” The Chairman of the Board remains one of America’s iconic crooners… and boozers. He would routinely down multiple whiskey glasses of the Jack and/or polish off an entire bottle of Jack Daniels before going bed, then wake up to do it all over again. And in between, he made gold records. His biographers called Sinatra a true “functioning alcoholic”. But no one… no one… was a more functional alcoholic than…

#4. Winston Churchill

Best line: “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” Britain’s leader weathered the storm of World War II with a cigar in one hand and snifter glass in the other. He would often wake early, and work for a few hours from bed (usually with a whiskey soda in hand). Then at 1PM he’d join his family for a three course lunch, served with Champagne, ports and brandy. After another whiskey soda he’d take a nap, then prepare for a full dinner (and several drinks). This routine rarely changed, and helped him steer Britain through the worst of World War II. This makes him the most productive drunkard in history.

#3. Ernest Hemingway

Best line: “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” The literary legend is a testament to drinking. The man ate drunk, loved drunk, hunted drunk, and even wrote drunk. The secret to his literary success? In Hemingway’s own words: “Write drunk. Edit sober.”

#2. The Czech Republic

According to the WHO, the Czech Republic drinks more per capita than any country in the world. And that’s just the start. They also rank second in overall per capita beer consumption (behind the small island of Palau) and are known to drink over 8.5 litres of beer each year. Keep in mind that number includes 97 year old women, people on life support and abstainers. Impressive, huh? Now surely no one man who can rise above a nation with such spirit? As a matter of fact, there is…

#1. Andre the Giant

No one in recorded history could drink as much as Andre. The pro wrestler – who stood 7’5″ and weighed over 500 pounds – routinely shocked friends and spectators with his insane tolerance for alcohol.

Don’t believe us? Consider the following:

  • Andre the Giant consumed, on average, 7,000 calories of alcohol a day.
  • He would routinely drink a 12 pack of beer before a wrestling match.
  • On road trips to wrestling matches, Andre would average a case of beer every 90 minutes. In one case, Andre consumed sixteen bottles of plum wine before wrestling three matches shortly thereafter. The wine showed no discernable effect whatsoever.
  • Andre rarely drank enough to pass out. One of the few times he did was after consuming 119 beers in six hours. That’s roughly one beer every three minutes… nonstop… for six hours straight. Incredible.
  • When asked how much it took him to get drunk, Andre replied “It usually takes two liters of vodka just to feel warm inside.” For the record, that’s over 50% more alcohol than what killed John Bonham (which he drank over a 24 hours period).

I shudder to think about the day that Andre the Giant drinking records get broken. If they ever do, it’s going to be a truly freakish individual that has a talent for alcohol consumption.

Honorable mention:  Kobayashi

OK, so he’s not a drinker… but… the man has the potential to be one of the greats. After all, this eating champion has held Guiness World Records for eating hot dogs, meatballs, hamburgers, and pasta…just imagine if he put his skills to the bottle?

While we can only hope for now, watch him blow through a gallon of milk in just 18 seconds.

Want to know more about drinking? Checkout this CNN report on the world’s 10 top drinking nations.


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