My Funny Valentine: Best of the web

Whether you love or loathe (or couldn’t give two hoots about) Valentine’s Day, there’s one thing we can all agree on – funny Valentine’s stuff on the internet is the best thing about February 14. There is nowhere better for a Valentine’s laugh than online, and we’ve found some of the best.

Valentine’s 2014 seem to be all about the puns, with no pop culture reference left untouched. Likewise, we’re enjoying looking at some of the hilarious comments made by kids, adults and companies alike! Let’s have a look at some of our favorites…

#Budvice

Budweiser is currently tweeting out #Budvice with some hilarious results! The above is one of our favorites being just on the right side of tongue-in-cheek.

Pantone 18-3418 TCX


This technical tweet is witty enough to tickle anyone’s funny bone but niche enough to be a nod to the designers out there who know their stuff (psst… they’re technical names for color shades!).

The youth of today

Something we’ve all surely considered, the baby cherub is a strange icon for the modern world. When once it was romantic, today it’s nothing short of terrifying…

Banish predictable gifts!

We’ve all been there in some form or another: you’ve just started dating someone and feel awkward not getting anything – but you still don’t really know them well enough for a real gift. Take a risk guys: buy something you know she’ll love.

Kids say it best

kids

Kids really do say the funniest things! School projects probably result in some of the most memorable pieces from your childhood and more likely because you made something inadvertently hilarious rather than being a child prodigy with a glue stick.

Breaking hearts
breaking

We couldn’t get enough of Breaking Bad here at Home Wet Bar and there’s been a hole in our lives ever since the final. Thankfully, you can show your beloved how much you care along with enjoying some Breaking Bad humor at the same time this holiday!

You’re a-peel-ing

bananas
Fruit art has become something of a trend recently and it’s great to see people’s artistic sides coming out on a, erm, banana. Quirky and pun-tastic, it’s everything you could possibly want in a Valentine’s message.

Types of Beer Glasses 101

Beer is one of the oldest beverages developed by civilizations, so we can only imagine the types of drinking vessels that were first created for beer. Traditionally beer glasses, were made with a specific purpose. For example, the German beer stein was developed with a lid to keep flies out of it during the Black Plague. Another example is the pint glass, which was produced to prevent breakage when storing beer glassware by stacking them.

It also has been said that the reason there are so many types of beer glasses available in this time is due to typical marketing schemes by beer breweries. This could be a true statement, there are just about as many beer glasses as there are types of beer. But would the beer breweries go that far for a marketing scheme if there wasn’t a benefit to this? Of course not! Like wine, beer glasses each have many attributes in which improve the flavors in different types of beer. Beer contains volatiles which are compounds that evaporate from it to create a beer’s aroma. Choosing the right glass for the type of beer you’re drinking can enhance these volatiles when pouring your brew. With so many choices, choosing a glass for your beer can be overwhelming. That is why we put together a short guide to the various types of glasses along with beer recommendations below.

Common Types of Beer Glasses

American Pint Glasses

Pint GlassThe American pint glass is just about the most common type of beer glass. These are the best beer glasses for use at local restaurants and most homes because they are easier to store by stacking them. They are constructed in a cone shape that tapers slightly toward the bottom of the glass and usually holds 16 ounces.

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Good all around glass, goes well with American Lagers, American Pale Ales, and most other beers

 

English Pint Glasses

englishpintThe British pint glass (also called a Nonic Glass) is similar to the American pint glass, but the difference is a slight bump along the top of the glass and it holds 20 ounces. The bump also adds the benefit of grip so your beer glassware won’t get stuck when stacking them. Another benefit this small bulge adds is head retention when pouring your beer which adds to the great aroma of your beer. Traditionally darker beers are served in these types of beer glasses.

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Mid-Dark beers, American Stout, English Porters, English Stout, English Ales, and other dark beers

 

Beer Mugs

Personalized Beer MugBeer mugs are a popular type of glass which feature a sturdy handle and are usually heavier than other beer glassware. The handles on these types of beer glasses are said to have been developed so the drinker would have more confidence when “clinking” glasses. These can be made of a variety of materials including pewter, ceramic, glass, or stainless steel to name a few. Well-known beer glass styles of the beer mug include the German beer stein, tankards, and dimpled mugs. The stein is a German beer mug that is usually made of pewter and, many times has a pewter lid attached to it. Legend has it steins were developed in during the black plague to keep the fleas that carried the black plague out of your beer. Yuk! Thankfully we no longer have to deal with disease carrying fleas but they are still a great way to keep flies and other bugs out of your favorite brew.

Beer tankards, similar to the stein, have a flared round bottom, hold more than the usual serving size of beer, and some tankards even have a glass bottom. A funny story behind the glass bottom tankard is that most bar fights started when someone was blindsided while drinking from their tankard; the glass bottom provides a clear view so they could always see what was coming! Meanwhile, dimpled mugs are a charming beer mug style that was once a standard beer glass at pubs in Britain.

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Most American Ales and Lagers, English beers, Bock beers, good multi-purpose glass

 

Wheat Beer Glasses, Weizenbier glass, or Weissbier Glass

wheat beerThese types of beer glasses are many times mistaken with the real Pilsner glasses below in American. The term seems to be used interchangeably at times. In reality they are called Wheat Beer Glasses. They are used to serve wheat beers, traditionally called a Weizenbiers or Bravarian Weizens. This German style glass has thin elegant walls and is typically quite tall allowing the glass to showcase the beer’s color. It is said the tapered glass shape originates from the desire to trap yeast at the bottom of the glass, which was very common in traditional beers until mass bottling and forced carbonation became popular in the early part of the century, and is still common today in micro-brews and home brews. These Weizenbier glasses typically hold around .5L but it’s also common to see them holding 20oz -24oz. The larger sizes allow for more of that appealing fluffy foam or “head” which traps aromas and is visually pleasing; typically associated with this type of beer

  • Use with These Beer Styles: Pale Wheat Beers, Dark Wheat Ales, Hefeweizens

 

Pilsner Glasses

Pilsner GlassesPilsner glasses are a more elegant type of beer glasses. These beer glasses are tall and have tapered walls that lead to a sturdy base. The pilsner glass was created to complement the lighter ales. The thin walls show off and maintain the sparkle in the golden hues of the ales they contain. The tall pilsner glass is also ideal for maintaining the perfect beer head which enhances the volatiles in beer, therefore creating a better enjoyment in the taste of pale ales. Sometimes this beer glass style can be mistaken for a Weizen glass, but the pilsner is tapered evenly from top to bottom and has no curves in its design at all.

  • Use with These Beer Styles:  Best for light colored beers, American Pale Lager, Czech Pilsener, Light Lagers, and Low % Alcohol Beer

 

Beer Boots

beer bootBeer boots have been around for over a hundred years, but have regained popularity thanks to movies like Beer Fest in recent years. Born from a Bavarian tradition over 100 years ago where soldiers filled their boots with traditional ale to toast and salute their military victories. Shortly there after the glass version was made, and the rest as they say, is history! Range anywhere from 0.5L to 2.0L. TIP: Twist the boot when you near the end unless you want a beer bath!

  • Use with These Beer Styles:  Novelty glass! Use for any beer you want, but we recommend low % alcohol beer because you’ll likely be drinking a lot of it!

 

So What Beer Glassware Should I Use?

Our suggestions under each type of glass above should be a good starting point for the average beer drinker. However the type of beer glassware you choose for your ale is ultimately up to you. Each is made for a different type of beer and all the different types of beer glasses all have their pros and con dependent on the type of beer you are drinking. No matter if your choice of ale is bitter, cream ale, or stout there is a beer glass that was specifically created to accent the aromas and taste of your beer just right! So experiment with different beer glasses and see which one works best for you!

15 Most Manly Drinks

What makes a drink manly? Which drinks require that you turn in your man card if you’re caught dead with it? It’s a highly debated topic that our experts here at HomeWetBar.com decided to get to the bottom of. Interestingly enough there are plenty of factors that go into making manly drinks. The first cardinal rule of all manly drinks is that it can’t be sweet. If you’re thinking of ordering a strawberry daiquiri or pina colada, be prepared to hand over your man card. Fruity flavors and colorful drinks are a big no-no! And absolutely no straws! The best cocktails for men are usually brown or clear. The best manly drinks do not necessarily have to be high in alcoholic content, but the bitter, throat burning, taste are what all real men are after. Another factor is the name; when sitting at your local bar with the regulars you must be conscious of what you order. When yelling out to the bartender keep in mind that the manly drink you order has to have a tough name as well. Although, alcoholic content isn’t the largest factor in most manly drinks, it is still a factor. If your hangover is not movie worthy you may want check the bass if your tone before you order that next round of drinks.

Ranking the Top Manly Drinks

There’s no better way to rank the manliest drinks than to measure them by the massive hangover you will have in the morning from knocking too many of these drinks back. Manly cocktails are accredited by their ability to knock you flat on your ass and how fast that can happen. Another trait of the best manly drinks is what puts hair on your chest, that throat burning sensation only real men can appreciate. Aspirin can become a man’s best friend if you have the gaul to test any of these manly cocktails out. We will rank the manliest drinks of all time from one dose of aspirin to the ultimate four doses to help ease the pain of the well known hangover. To keep it easy, 1 dose is the least manly and 4 doses puts it up with the big dogs as being a potent cocktail for men. Although some drinks may rank lower than others, we can all agree that any fellow bold enough to order any of these top manly drinks will never have to worry about their man card being revoked.

Gin and Juice

Rank: 1 Dose

Snoop Dogg recommended. A cocktail made of gin, grapefruit, and orange juice making this a smooth drink where a man can keep his cool while mingling with the ladies. This drink is also tough enough to be one of the only most manly cocktails with a fruity taste that you won’t have to turn in your man card for.

Whiskey Sour

Rank: 1 Dose

2735592868_38016386f3The name alone takes the cake for ranking among the top manly drinks. A concoction of whiskey and lemon and maybe sugar for the beginners. Not the biggest and baddest of drinks for men, but this can be a refreshing for the summer that is sure to add some bass to your tone when you order the next round.

Jagerade

Rank: 1 Dose

Made of gatorade energy drink and jagermeister herbal liqueur this manly drink can help up your electrolyte intake. We’re not too sure about the buzz factor, but the taste can guarantee a peach fuzz for any baby face pansy that can’t handle the strong bite of the Jagerade.

Bloody Bull

Rank: 1 Dose

Something like the manly version of the bloody mary. A tasty mixture of vodka, beef bouillon, lemon, tabasco sauce and worcestershire sauce. Again, the name makes up for at least 50% of what makes the manliest drinks manly. Not the top choice of drinks for taste, but any man that can down this probably has the hairy chest of a bull from the burning bite of the bloody bull.

Sidecar

Rank: 2 Doses

5365837908_540a0b02cbA classic cocktail made up of triple sec, cognac, and lemon juice -No Sugar. Not the manliest cocktail ever, but it definitely has enough kick to make it tougher than the average martini. In all honesty a martini has never been considered the go-to cocktail for men, but we can agree that James Bond carries that pass for all men, thus making strong cocktails manly even when served in a martini glass.

Gold Rush

Rank: 2 Doses

A man’s summertime friend. A shot made up of bourbon, lemon juice, and honey will put some hair on that bare chest of yours. Still potent, but just enough lemon and honey to make it a smooth shot. This manly drink is something like a hot toddy, but the cooler summer version. Get over that summer cold with a gold rush & make it a double!

SnakeBite

Rank: 3 Doses

5396934673_296d639225Made up of only 2 key ingredients Canadian Whiskey and a dash of lime juice in a shot glass, taken straight up; definitely a man’s drink. A cocktail or shot’s name plays another big role in defining what makes a manly drink manly. You can’t yell just any drink name out to the bartender among the at the local bar. Order a Snakebite and you’ll receive nods of approval from the regulars for that knee buckling bitter taste.

The Godfather

Rank: 3 Doses

Another well known gentleman’s drink that can add bass to your tone. The Godfather has a name that, alone, fits as one of the top manly drinks. A sophisticated blend of bourbon or whiskey and amaretto served in classic whiskey glasses make this a classic choice for any real man who can take a real drink. Much like the popular Godfather movie this mixed drink can become a man’s favorite in no time.

Jack and Coke

Rank: 3 Doses

2714076651_e114a4b146This mixture is the universal manly drink for men. Served in cocktail glasses, the recipe is simple. Combine Jack Daniels and just enough Coke to make it a crisp bittersweet mixed drink for men that is known to put some bass in your voice. Switch things up at the bar and order a Rum and Coke or use a different kind of whiskey. Drink too many of these and a hangover will be knocking on your door bright and early.

Tom Collins

Rank: 3 Doses

It’s safe to say any cocktail that has a man’s name should be deemed a common manly cocktail. The Tom Collins is a perfect example of what a man’s cocktail should taste like, gin, lemon juice, club soda and a hint of sugar on the rocks. It can be served with fruit, but honestly what man wants a fruit filled cocktail? No man can go wrong drinking a manly drink that has the ability to be smooth and tough at the same time.

Dirty Martini

Rank: 3 Doses

5076909064_883d31b1f3A sleek combo of gin, vermouth, olive juice, and yes, the classic olives. The Dirty Martini make the perfect drink for that charming guy standing at the bar that has a bit more class and maturity than any fruit cocktail drinking wimp. “Martini: shaken, not stirred,” like Bond these manly cocktails will sneak up on you before you know it. That familiar throat burning sensation is clearly evident from a mere whiff of your glass.

Rusty Nail

Rank: 4 Doses

The name alone will send chills down the spine of any coward that can’t handle drinks for real men. Fill your whiskey glass with scotch and lemon peel on the rocks and you’ve got one rusty nail. Order one of the best cocktails for men, like the Rusty Nail, at a hard core pub and drinking vets will respect you. Be easy when taking these shots or you’ll feel quite rusty yourself in the morning!

Old Fashioned

Rank: 4 Doses

Old FashionedDon Draper of Mad Men TV series has made us very familiar with this particular cocktail. Order an Old Fashioned anywhere and you should get nods of approval for ordering such a manly cocktail. A manly concoction of bourbon, bitters, a hint of sugar water and for the sake of your sacred man card no fruit. You will appear more mature and distinguished than if you ordered a long island iced tea. This can definitely rank as being one of the best cocktails for men and is a classic choice for that dapper guy at the bar. Don’t go overboard with these bad boys or you may need to leave those car keys at home.

Classic Manhattan

Rank: 4 Doses

If Sinatra and the Rack Pack can deem this cocktail as a favorite, then we can go a step further in making this one of the top classic cocktails for men. A mixture of bourbon, vermouth, bitters, & a stemmed cherry(if requested) making this a top choice when it comes to drinks for men. Remember this is a gentleman’s drink, don’t ruin the experience with a piece of fruit lingering in your glass. This manly drink ranks 4 doses for a reason. Remember that.

Irish Car Bomb

Rank: 4 Doses

3247414923_1dec96ea2cPicture the Jagerbomb. Now picture something much more manly, higher in alcoholic content, something for a real man and you will see the badass of all badass manly drinks-The Irish Car Bomb. A deadly combination of irish cream and irish whiskey put into a shot glass and then dropped into a pint glass of irish stout. Beer advocates can appreciate this kind of drink at it can be deemed as one of the manliest drinks ever created for men. Make sure you drink fast before it curdles!

Sure, there are plenty more classic cocktails for men that can be added to this list of the top manly drinks, but we like to leave some drinks up to the imagination. At the end of the day a manly cocktail is per choice and you can order any kind of fruit filled beverage that you would like at the bar. BUT if you want to mature as a social drinker into an experienced and responsible manly cocktail expert you may want to keep these valid tips in mind when you’re at the bar. First things first, please, no fruit! if there is a need for garnish make it a simple olive or slice of lemon and nothing more. Next, is the taste it either has to be really potent or harsh enough to turn that baby face into a full beard and goatee. And last but definitely not least the best manly drinks have a tough name to match that tough taste. It is safe to say cocktails for men are usually straight up or involve shots. And don’t forget every woman loves a man with a big cock…..tail shaker so our sasquatch cocktail shaker” may come in handy the next time you want to try some of these manly cocktails.

3 Valentines Day Gift Ideas for Him and Her

It’s that one day a year where you’ve got to show your significant other exactly how much they mean to you with a gift that not only says, “I love you,” but one that says, “I understand you.” If you’re reading this, then it’s safe to assume your guy or girl likes to drink and have fun. Whether it be wine, liquor, or beer, we’ve got a few ideas that could help you say what you need to say, but without spending a lot of dough.

Gifts for Her


1. Giant Extra Large Wine Glass

It’s so big, there’s three words that say how big it really is: Giant, Extra, Large. This handblown mega-glass is so massive it holds an entire 750mL bottle of wine. Do yourself a favor and get a few, so not only could she share a pleasantly wined evening with you, but she could also have an amazing night in with the girls.


2. Parisian Chic High Heel Wine Holder

What is the number one thing girls love the most? If you guessed purse-size animals or jewelry, you’re on the right track, but oh so wrong. Shoes are a girl’s real best friend, and this glitzy high heel wine bottle holder is the perfect mixture of “chic” and “cute” that fits wine bottles of all sizes.


3. Leopard Flip Flop Bottle Opener

In the realm of all things “cute,” a flip flop bottle opener takes the cake. But this isn’t just any slick bottle opener, it’s got that leopard print extra that girls love to wear. Does your girl not like the leopard? Don’t worry, we’ve got it in pink and zebra striped too.

Gifts for Him


1. Simply Class Whiskey Glass Set

Men love feeling like the elite wise-guys of Madison Avenue, and those elite wise-guys drink whiskey. Set your man up with a set of hand blown crystal whiskey glasses. These hold 14 ounces of awesome in a four-inch rim. These beautiful glasses will take you back to a simpler time where having class was respected and the finer things in life were gained through honest, hard work.


2. Personalized Saloon Man Cave Sign

Give your man the expressed right of claiming his territory, without making the mess that your pets do. This 18″x14″ saloon savvy sign, made with real wood, can be personalized with your guy’s name so that all his friends will know they’re entering his domain. What happens in the man cave, stays in the man cave.


3. Vintage Dude Beer Mugs & Flasks

Made from durable, lightweight plastic, with a classy description authorizing your man’s right to just sit, relax, and enjoy his brew. These mega-mugs are perfect for barbecues or hanging out for the big game. We’ve also got decade-personalized tankards available for ages 30, 40, and 50, as well as flasks for 30 and 40.

Top 4 Beer Drinking Cities in America

Credit: Bernt Rostad
Credit: Bernt Rostad

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Beer.

Creator of civilizations. Destroyer of Sundays.

This “liquid gold” brings men together like a campfire… except it tastes delicious, doesn’t leave you smelling like smoke, and – if done correctly – helps fuel the fires of a good time.

Which you may or may not remember.

Simply put: beer is amazing. And the following four American cities hold their beer making – and drinking – to a higher standard.

Read on:

Portland, Oregon

Portland is the Olympus of American beer cities. It has more microbreweries than any other state and produces some the nation’s highest quality beers.

It’s also home to The Simpsons creator Matt Groening – who created arguably the world’s greatest beer-drinking cartoon: Homer Simpson.

(Fun fact: Many Simpsons characters are named after streets in Portland.)

(Another fun fact: Matt Groening’s father is named Homer. So is Matt’s son.)

Now let’s return to our subject at hand:

Breweries In/Around Portland:

Rogue: It’s not just a cool name: these beers definitely break new ground. You may remember them by such beers as Hazlenut Brown Ale, Dead Guy Ale and Chipotle spiced lagers. The brewery itself is located in Newport (located on the coast), but the Rogue pub in Portland is well worth a visit.

Mcmenamins Kennedy School: Ever wanted to get drunk in class? Well now you can. At this former grade school-turned-bar, you can enjoy house-brewed ales in the cafeteria, sip bourbon in detention hall and even sleep the night away in a former classroom. There’s even bowling, movies and a live band each weekend!

Lompoc: Sigh. Some breweries have all the luck. Others – like Lompoc – seem to get thrown under the bus. This brewery does pale ales the way pale ales were meant to be done: deliciously.

Especially when served in a 32 ounce mason jar. Hmmm… your moonshine distilling great-uncle’d be proud.

Deschutes Brewery: Like Rogue, Deschutes is an out of town brewery (Bend, Oregon) with a pub in Portland.

And thank God for that.

The brewery in Bend is OK… but certainly not worth the drive. Fortunately, you can enjoy their delicious collection of lagers and ales (most notably the pale ale and stout) without leaving town.

Chico, California

I know what you’re thinking: Chico? Where the hell is Chico?

This happens a lot.

But this small college town – once lauded as the “number one party school in America” by Playboy magazine – is home to one of America’s best, if not the best brewery.

Sierra Nevada.

Sure, you may have had their pale ale. It’s delicious… but… that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There’s much, much more to this brewery.

Their Celebration Ale gives more meaning to Christmas than Frosty, Santa and all his little reindeer combined.

Their Crystal Wheat beer? A crispy, clean beer which goes PERFECT with a hot dog at a ballgame.

And their Bigfoot barleywine – a beast of a beer approaching ten percent alcohol – will hurt you. In a good way.

With a motley crew of beers like these, it’s no surprise Sierra Nevada became the second largest craft brewery in America (behind Sam Adams).

Where to drink in Chico:

Visiting Chico without drinking at the Sierra Nevada Brewery is like going to Saudi Arabia without visiting Mecca.

Except you can drink.

At the brewery you can enjoy beers never intended for mass procudtion, including an astonishing array of Irish reds, IPAs and German style beers.

Local bars  – such as Madison Bear Garden and Banshee – serve some of these beers… for as little as one dollar per pint.

That’s right: one dollar. Per pint.

And by the way: the best cheeseburger in the world is also in Chico. Try the bacon cheeseburger at Nobby’s (located on Main Street) to see for yourself. Words cannot describe how delicious this burger is, so I won’t try.

But your life will remain forever incomplete without it.

Fort Collins, Colorado

This small Colorado town boasts not one but two distinguished breweries and the annual Colorado Brewers’ Festival, a wild beer making (and drinking) spectactle held downtown each June.

Breweries In Fort Collins

New Belgium Brewing Company: Famous for Fat Tire – a crisp amber ale which got its name after its brewer Jeff Lebesch rode across Europe on a bicycle – New Belgium continues to churn out a wide selection of beers. The Sunshine Wheat and Abbey Grand Cru are both popular local varieties.

Odell Brewing Company: In my opinion, Odell is the best brewery in Fort Collins. They’ve created an astonishing array of beer, including double black IPAs and Bourbon Barrel Stout.

And last but not least:

Austin, Texas

Texas?

Beer?

You’d expect us to stick to the Pacific Northwest, right?

Wrong.

Truth is, Austin is a beer drinking paradise.

Not only is it the Live Music Capital of the World – with over 200 live music venues featuring blues, rock, house, country and more – Austin is surrounded by several high quality breweries (and one distillery, as you’ll soon see).

Breweries In/Around Austin

Shiner: This is Texas’ most popular beer. Brewed in the small town of Shiner (pop: 1,033) this brewery features a slightly sweet Bock beer in the traditional Czech style.

Real Ale Brewing Company: If you’re dying for a pale ale and can’t afford a ticket to the Pacific, Real Ale Brewery serves up a fine ale.

Garrison Brothers Distillery: Nothing complements beer better than a well-deserved taste of brown liquor. Fortunately, Garrison Brothers – the first legal bourbon distillery in Texas – has got you covered. It’s a small operation to say the least, and that – along with a damn fine bourbon – contributes to its charm.

The Ginger Man: This excellent brewpub features dozens of different beers on tap (and several unique bottled varieties) in Austin’s slightly upscale Warehouse District.

“Upscale” by Texas standards, anyways.

From there, you can (and should) venture down to West Sixth Street for a night of live music, cheap drinks and killer hot dogs sold by street vendors.